2021 was one hell of a year for me

Hello there dear reader! To keep you occupied while you wait for an on-topic post on Sunday (ill be uploading at 3 pm GMT), I would like to reflect on this year.
I am not a very open person like I don’t talk about myself and my life but for this blog, I might as well.
2021 was a year that was filled with wonderful moments, happiness, trauma, self-discovery, stress and a whole lot of hospital time and not studying (im a student).

If 2020 was the year where I was productive and made a whole lot happen in my life creatively, 2021 would be the year where everything came crashing down. And I’m not talking about the pandemic or anything, I am talking about what happened just in my own life. I have spent around 2-3 months of this year in a hospital bed and spent a total of 8 months out of school when I should’ve been there. I’m not gonna get into why, as that is a big can of worms that would require a 164-page long novel to answer.

But creatively I feel so bad about what I’ve accomplished this year, as in I accomplished nothing. I haven’t exactly written much or made new videos or made any new exciting games. I’ve just been busy with trying to set my life straight, and that is kinda depressing when I jot it down.
I’ve started this project, this blog just so I have something creative that I am working on for the duration of 2022, but I’m also scared that I’ll let this project die because of stuff IRL, or because I simply have no motivation.

But looking back at this year, I don’t think it was all bad, I mean it was pretty fucking horrible, but I discovered a lot of things about myself, that I previously didn’t. I’ve also met so many people that I am so lucky to know and have in my life.

When reflecting back on something or a year I think it’s really important to talk about both the good and the bad, as it lets us realise that the world isn’t black and white, good or bad and that the world isn’t out to get us. The world isn’t sentient and life isn’t either, and in every situation, there’s bound to be something good, even if it looks absolutely rubbish.

It’s not healthy to get caught up in an echo chamber of delusion, making yourself believe that everything is bad and life is purposefully trying to get you. Trust me it’s not, and that is coming from a girl that had to walk through hell and back, a girl that has been in and out of the hospital, and basically missed out on an entire year of her life.

When you reflect back on this year, look at the bad, look at the good and stay confused at how life just doesn’t make any sense. The pure chaos of the world.

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